an apple for the teacher

I am embarking on a new adventure...online education. I am teaching math for an online high school. Not how I imagined I would be teaching, but better than being unemployed. I thought I was spending a lot of time online before--I suppose I will be glued to my computer and my ass will take the shape of my chair. Note to self: schedule more time in the gym. I am intrigued by how I will interact and connect with my students in this educational arena. Stay tuned readers, I will keep you updated on my new adventure.

twilight saga eclipse

I took my nephew to see Eclipse last night. Yeah, I know the film has been out a month and I am so far behind seeing it now. In my defense, I hate large crowds and often feel claustrophobic in enclosed spaces; hence, avoiding the unpleasantness by waiting a month to see such a popular film.

I was excited to see this movie since Eclipse was my favorite book from Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series of books and I will admit I was excited to see what the big vampire wolf fight at the end of the film looked like on screen. The chemistry between Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) did not disappoint. Several times the entire screen was filled with close-ups of their faces; staring at each other with such intensity that it makes the viewer feel like a voyeur peeping through a window at a very private moment. Bella and Edward also had a playfulness in Eclipse that added an element of the innocence of first love. Stewart and Pattinson have such onscreen chemistry that it adds a realism to their desperate love. I was reminded of the idyllic summer I had with my very first boyfriend. Additionally, there was an easiness that emanated from all the main actors that I imagine comes from familiarity with these characters in three films now.

The fight scene at the end was awesome. The CGI wolves did not disappoint and watching the stone-like limbs ripped from the bodies of the vampires was a blast. Is this an Academy Award winning film? No, but for those folks who read the book, it did not leave you wondering what the hell happened to the story you loved.

take a bite out of tv...the vampire diaries

I have always loved vampire stories. As a child I was deliciously scared watching Bela Lugosi’s hypnotic eyes as he compelled his victims to open their bedroom doors. As a teen, I thought Frank Langella was so sexy; shivers ran up my body as I imagined the feel of his lips on my neck. Francis Ford Coppola focused on the love story in Bram Stoker’s Dracula in 1992, with Gary Oldman as a very sensual Dracula! The scene showing the leather gloved hands of Dracula and Mena stroking the fur of the wolf was sexier than many kissing scenes meant to heat the blood of moviegoers. The sexy vampire genre made the leap to the small screen in 1966 with a soap opera called Dark Shadows starring a reluctant vampire Barnabus Collins. Each weekday afternoon, my Grandmother Nancy and I would be glued to the television watching Barnabus struggle with his desire for blood and his desire for Victoria Winters. Dark Shadows was an unsuccessful prime time series in 1991 with Ben Cross in the role of Barnabus a mere 12 episodes. Joss Whedon was the hero of vampire genre fans the world over when he brought Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel to the WB in the late 1990s.

Vampires are powerful, dangerous, seductive, immature and vulnerable,much like adolescents. Perhaps that is why the vampire genre is so popular with teens and tweens. Today the vampire has seduced another generation of teens and tweens via the Twilight Saga books and motion pictures. Of course one need not be a teen or tween to succumb to the allure of Edward Cullen with his brooding ways and those sexy eyes. To quote a character from the film Twilight as he tells Bella of his displeasure that she and Edward are a couple, “…he looks at you like you are something to eat….” Bella has no problem being consumed by Edward and neither would millions of females, including myself, all over the globe. No bones about it—vampires are sexy. Fortunately, for vampire fans the gap in television programming left by the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel and the short-lived Moonlight is over.

Enter The Vampire Diaries. Dawson’s Creek creator, Kevin Williamson brings The Vampire Diaries to television each Thursday at 8:00pm on the CW. Based on the The Vampire Diaries series of books written by LJ Smith, the series focuses on a high school girl, Elena, and her involvement with vampire brothers, Stefan and Damon. Set in the fictional town of Mystic Falls, Virginia, the town has a history of vampirism dating back to the 19th century and the towns founding families.

The series starts off with a bang with brothers Stephan (Paul Wesley) and Damon (Ian Somerhalder) at odds as they have been for the past 100 years with the innocent lovelies of Mystic Falls caught in the middle. The innocent lovely in the center of the turmoil is Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) who happens to be the doppelgänger of Katherine, the vampire who won the heart of both Salvatore brothers when the boys were mere humans circa 1860s. The characters are somewhat Twilightesque at first, but the series departs strongly from anything Twilight and develops several interesting plot twists and a tangle of back story.

The CW is rerunning season 1 of the Vampire Diaries Thursdays at 8pm followed by reruns of Moonlight. If you have not yet sunk your teeth into The Vampire Diaries be sure to feast this summer on the CW.

making the most of the small screen

As a new teacher in the face of our current economy–translate this to mean I am working as a substitute teacher as there are more teachers than teaching jobs at the present time–I am forced to find inexpensive ways to entertain myself. I love movies, but at $9.00 per ticket, I am not a frequent consumer at the cinema. Where is a girl to find her fix of drama and imagine herself as the heroine who will find her soul mate by accidentally spilling a cup of hot coffee on his broad chest while rushing down the street to her job where she is fabulous, yet under appreciated. And yes, I would be able to run in those Christian Louboutin heels without looking like an ungainly giraffe or falling on my face. What was my question? Oh, yes, how to fulfill my desire for romance, fun, and drama on a modest budget? The answer…wait for it…television. No! I am absolutely not out of my mind! Take heart sisters–there is much satisfaction to be had for the girl who knows where to look.

the evil trappings of social networking

I sat in the classroom listening to the professor excitedly talk about technology for use in education. I was all for the slick new software that allowed easy graphing of a linear function; I love the software that does all the complicated statistical calculations for me; I love the ease of editing with word processing software; and most of all I love having the information of the world at my fingertips 24/7!! But, I never thought I would be an avid user of social networking sites.

Members of my cohort all had MySpace and Facebook pages—they Skyped regularly and I had only just heard of Wikipedia. I certainly did not know that I could create my own wiki any day of my choosing. The professor then said the “B” word…blog! Why in the world would I be interested in reading random writings of people I do not know? What motivates people to do this? I honestly thought the world had lost its mind or perhaps the world changed around me and I was no longer relevant.

A bit of background (if you are intrigued you can read the bio here in my blog…click on About River), I am 47 years old and the last time I was in school the internet did not exist, big hair was popular and the world was ruled by Springsteen and Bon Jovi. Computers were extremely large brutish machines that existed only in extremely large brutish companies. When I was required to write a paper about stereoisomerism or the development of August Renoir as an impressionist, I went to the library at school (Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, California… a lovely place, but that is another story) and…of all the crazy things checked out books on the subjects. I typed the papers on an electric typewriter, switching back and forth from ink to correction tape and learning to loathe the sound of the keys hitting the paper. Making changes was not a simple feat of cut and paste, but sometimes requiring the re-typing of perfectly good pages. So before I go on a rant or get caught up in nostalgia—back to the topic at hand: much had changed in the educational arena since I was an undergrad student.

I resisted the social networking and focused on the conveniences that technology afforded. Then it happened…I created a MySpace account to stay in touch with a particular person. Then I created a Facebook page and Facebook showed me all the people in my address book who also had Facebook pages. I slowly grew into Facebook and it proved to be a easy way to stay in touch with friends—especially those who I did not talk to regularly. From there it was easy to succumb to the lure of social networking and I now have a blog (obviously since here you are) and the nail in my coffin—Twitter.

I tweet daily and I enjoy it. There is something satisfying to putting your thoughts, comments, feelings, and the like out for inspection. I find the anonymity to be freeing (River isn’t my given name) and at the same time reading/answering/writing tweets make me feel connected to the world in a way that was unexpected, yet pleasing. Blogging, for me, is a way to think out loud and share my opinions and share the experiences and perspectives of others. It is my internal dialogue given voice without the side-effect of seeming insane for talking to myself. Remember, evil—like beauty—is in the eye of the beholder.

i dreamed a dream...

A question as old as time itself: Do you actively pursue a dream or does your dream recognize you and come to you?

I’ve had a dream for as long as I can remember. It has changed as I have grown–as a child I wanted to be an actor so I could be anything I wanted over and over again. In the middle of teen angst–a veterinarian. When I started college I wanted to be a marine biologist. To that end I worked at the Cabrillo Marine Museum in San Pedro, California and enjoyed it very much, but felt anxious–perhaps there was greener grass elsewhere. When I was a 19yo undergrad student studying biology my nephew was born. My sister used drugs and alcohol during pregnancy and my nephew (Ernie) was born with many health problems. He was not expected to survive, but at 3 months was doing well enough to go home or to a home. My sister was unable to handle the situation, but even at 19 I knew I could and while no one forced me or even asked me I could not imagine never seeing this child again…so I became a mom at 19. I have never regretted my decision, but it did throw a monkey wrench in my dream and the plans I made to get there. Looking back at this now, thanks to this discussion, I realized although it was a dream, it was not The Dream.

Since Ernie had lots of health problems I spent a lot of time in hospitals and despite the serious of the environment, there was something to it that I liked. It had a liveliness and purpose that I also feel in airports. I also educated myself in medicine so I could be a better advocate for Ernie. These two things led to a career in medicine. I thrived in this environment and lived a dream or the first of several dreams? However, I had dreamed of a graduate education in sciences and with my career in medicine I focused in that direction. New obstacle: Ernie requires a lot of time and care…what to do? Give up the dream of grad school–hell no! Become patient, stay focused on the dream and work towards it. It took 15 years before I could manage to return to school.

A MS in Biostatistics and I achieved my goal of grad school, but I was not happy. Much thought and soul searching led me to a MEd in Secondary Education and to teaching high school math and science. For the first time in a long time I am happy being what I am. No feelings of anxiousness, no thoughts of greener grass. My lifetime of competitiveness, the compulsion to be the best, of never feeling settled or sure of what I was doing was finally gone. Don’t misunderstand me I take my job seriously and challenge myself to always be a better teacher, but it is not work to me anymore. I do it because it is just a part of me, like breathing.

So I agree with both sides in this discussion: you must go after The Dream and when The Dream of all the dreams appears, it comes to you. There are a couple of important lessons I have learned during this life process: (1) never give up your dream. Even if you have not figured out what your dream is and are working on one of your dreams--or even a goal--, always keep it in focus. Life may force you to take a different path to your dream than the one you’ve mapped out, but be flexible and keep your focus on what you want. (2) Knowing what The Dream is may not be a straightforward or easy thing. Allow yourself permission to make a mistake. Then regroup and get back on track to following what you believe you should be doing. (3) Be honest with yourself about what you want. Is your dream yours or is it someone else’s dream for you?

I found that I enjoyed helping people and my dream, The Dream was/is to have an impact on someone’s life…LOL, in a good way. I am doing that now as a high school teacher, but what I did not realize until today after reading these comments and Unmasked’s post… I have been living my dream every day since the day I took Ernie home from the hospital.

Ernie's sister Alisha.